VALENTINE’S DAY may be approaching, but love’s not really in the air these days. A lot of women who were looking forward to a happy future with their significant others – beginning with candlelight dinners and visits to spas, to vacations in the Bahamas – are re-evaluating their relationships because of the current financial climate.
TILL RECESSION DO US PART
Kanak Jain (name changed on request), communications manager, recently ended her relationship, after her boyfriend received a pink slip from the MNC software company he used to work for. She tells us, “After the news of the US going into recession came out, things weren’t right between us. He always used to be so worked up about things. I was understanding and played the agony-aunt in the beginning. But once he lost his job, things got worse and he went into depression and would drink himself to oblivion because, as he’d say, “there was nothing better to do”. So, I decided to do better things with my life and show him the door.” Isn’t that giving up too easily on someone you love? “See, love is very subjective. For me, love is very practical and I’d love a person who would make me happy and comfortable. I am not planning on carrying deadweight around with me.”
Ali Sharma, an MBA, believes that while she’d stick with her man “in times of trouble”, this isn’t an open ended deal, as “if the man can’t find another job in the next couple of months, then it’s going to be time
for me to move on. It’s very simple. When I first started going out with him, I knew that we could be a power-couple and have a successful upwardlymobile life. But, if that changes, I don’t think I am doing justice to myself.”
Fast-track relationships have a short shelf-life according to this power-woman. “Life is too short and I want to lead a good life, I have to make sure I have a partner who gives me that,” says Kanak. Charu Parashar, a designer, who’s happily married. In her perspective, “The disposable income in the hands of youngsters these days has increased and they believe in instant gratification. These days, if a woman is suddenly faced with no additional resources at her disposal, which she counts as important for fulfilling of her needs, then she makes a quick exit.”
BUT HE’S BECOME TOO CLINGY!
Most of the women who have dumped their boyfriends or plan to do so, also have another major grouse – that their men suddenly became too clingy. Ali says, “He has more time in his hands, I don’t. So, I need some space but
he wants to cook dinner with me everyday, when I get back from work!” Ramneek Pantal, an exmodel, comments, “A man should not hound his woman 24/7 when she is working. If he does, he risks driving her up the wall. the fact that he has more time on his hands does not mean she does not want to go out with her friends and maintain her own social circle.” Kanak recounts an experience, “When he used to be working, my BF didn’t have the time to call me during his breaks. He used to be too busy talking work to his colleagues. Later, when he was fired, he would forever want my attention. When I told him to stop, it triggered off a big fight!”
GOLD-DIGGER?
And these power women aren’t concerned about society’s opinions on their decisions. They have a very clear idea of what they want from their relationships in the long term. Ali points out, “I can’t take a man with no job to my parents and ask them to be proud of my decision, na!” Kanak also agrees, saying, “Like I said, it’s important that I lead a good life. I’m making the best decision for my future and even my parents would advise me against continuing a relationship with a man who is unable of giving me the standard of life I’m used to. So, I don’t care about the gold-digger tag, really!” So, wine and cheese and a trip to the Mediterranean Islands is what matters the most to today’s women, then? “It is not everything. But yes! It is close. And if my man can’t give me that, I will find another!” says Ali.
I read news paper
